Morrissey and The Smiths; Writing About Tottenham Hotspur All These Years?

 

For the first time since the Champions League was introduced in 1992, Tottenham Hotspur stand on the verge of qualification. Just three games remain, Bolton, Manchester City, and Burnley. 

Win all three and Spurs will be entering virgin territory. Lilywhites fans can be forgiven for uttering a few words while looking to the skies above. It would seem that Steven Patrick Morrissey had already written the very prayer that most Tottenham fans will be uttering over the next ten days.

For those of you who don't know, Steven Patrick Morrissey is better known as Morrissey, or the lead singer to The Smiths if you will. The Manchester based band were, and still are, one of the most important and influential bands of all time.

That's not just my opinion, it is the opinion of respected magazines like Rolling Stone, NME, Q, and even the BBC.

BBC said the Smiths were "one of the most influential figures in the history of British pop", NME went one further by declaring Morrissey the "most influential artist ever" in a 2002 poll, topping The Beatles, while Rolling Stone stated that his "rejection of convention" in his vocal style and lyrics is the reason "why he redefined the sound of British rock for the past quarter-century". 


In short Morrissey was a genius when it came to writing Lyrics. 

For those of you who don't know, The Smiths were formed in 1982 when the 23 year old Morrissey met John Maher for the first time. A prodigious guitar player and songwriter in his own right, Maher and Morrissey instantly hit it off. 


Friends were added to the lineup and in 1983 they released their first single, Hand in Glove.

It was not a commercial success but it did garner the attention of one John Peel. The highly respected BBC Radio 1 DJ championed the cause of the young outfit and from there they went from strength to strength.
Being a Spurs fan you can look back and see the irony in their song titles, and one would think they were almost written directly for the North London side.

"This Charming Man," ignoring it's original intent, could refer to the endless succession of managers and next big things that have walked through the doors at White Hart Lane over the years. "What Difference Does It Make" is an obvious one for the end of almost every season.

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" needs no explanation...

Before we come to "That Joke Isn't Funny Any More" and the iconic "Panic".

Each one an anthem for Spurs in it's own right, before we finally come to the 1984 classic..."William, It Was Really Nothing"...yes you're reading that right.

In case you're wondering, "William, It Was Really Nothing" is about a man who becomes involved in a loveless marriage, something every sports fan can attain to at one time or another...

But that's not the song I want to talk about. No the song I'm referring to was the B-Side to that very single.
Before we go on I must explain to our younger readers that before CD's we used to have something called Cassette Tapes, and before that we had Records.

Large black things that were about the same size as dinner plates with around five or six songs on each side. Singles were smaller and only had one song on each side, they were about six inches in diameter and were the backbone of the charts.

The A-Side was the real single which received all the airplay, but the B-Side was, if you were lucky, a little gem of a song that was often better that the main one.

The B-Side to "William, It Was Really Nothing" is one of those classics. A beautiful little song called "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want."

It's the perfect song for every fan who has pleaded with the sporting God's to give their team a break. So for once in my life, Lord knows that this would be the first time, please, let me get what I want...

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want , by The Smiths
Good times for a change
see, the luck I've had
can make a good man
turn bad

So please please please
let me, let me, let me
let me get what I want
this time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had
can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows it would be the first time

I guess if Spurs fans gain Champions League qualification, and it's a big if, then "Everyday Will Be Like Sunday" for a while.

Every Jersey For The 2010 World Cup: The Good The Bad and The Ugly

In June, 32 nations will kick off the world's biggest tournament. There will be a worldwide audience of almost half the planet.

With that captive audience in mind, every competing team has released home and away kits for the month-long tournament.

And with FIFA's new ruling that games will be "home" and "away", every nation will get to wear all of their wares.

Here we take a quick look at some of the jerseys on offer.

The good, the bad, and the downright ugly...

Click here to see a slideshow of the jerseys.

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Flying Face First Into a Fence After a Trip, Now This is Dirty...

The arguments over whether Ryan Shawcross really meant to take Aaron Ramsey out will go on and on.

But here we see real dirt...

Watch the video closely, two kids running for the ball as it goes out for a throw in, only for the guy in yellow to trip his opponent so discreetly that even the linesman doesn't see it from five yards away...

The result, a full on face first smash into a fence, ouch...



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WARNING: Manchester United PC Virus

Major Virus Alert




Manchester Utd Virus Alerts

Everybody please watch out for the following viruses ...

The Manchester Utd Virus ... This is where your PC thinks it's far superior than any other PC and develops a complex disorder, except when the password LEEDS UNITED is entered .

The Alex Ferguson Virus ... The computer develops a continuous whining noise when losing power and will refuse to accept time outs even when being shut down.

The Berbatov Virus ... This affects newer PC's mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.

The Rooney Virus ... This one is particularly nasty and will throw you out of Windows ...

The Foster Virus .... This one's not particularly harmful - but you just can't save anything.

The Brown Virus ..... Just when you think things can't get any worse, this one pops up and causes a calamitous error.

The Nani Virus ... The computer develops a processor problem, whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuation in performance.

The Neville Virus .... This is a particularly ugly one.

The Man Utd Shirt Virus... This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3 months


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The Greatest Own Goal of All Time

Here we have TSV Wimsheim and TSV Grunbach battling it out in pretty windy conditions...

The result being the greatest own goal of all time. Enjoy

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I Hate...A Rant By An Angry QPR Fan

This rant appeared on a forum for QPR, classic.

I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR
win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the
likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier
and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but moreso than that - football is just
properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City
breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money.
It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in the
charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's
17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20
after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever
happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money
thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton,
Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate John Terry being
England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate the England team.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully
had nothing but pace.

I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for
the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws
away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.

I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp.
And the Wii.

I hate James Nesbitt, Eammon Holmes and f***ing everyone.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the
keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards
it's amazing.

I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot'
playing behind it.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the
back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other
than pain and disappointment.

I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game.
I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I
hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers
real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this
post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or
Bradford.

I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means
nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst
shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then
sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest
thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to
Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the
street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They
had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk
me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her
non-ghost written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.

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From Web Sites to Books, Arsenal's Andrei Arshavin Is a Comedy Genius.

Andrei Arshavin has many notches on his belt. World famous footballer, author, vice-champion of Russia, and promising Draughts player. But very few people actually know that he is also a comedic genius.

From being not being scared of Arsene Wenger and giving outspoken interviews, often criticizing his own team, Arshavin is not afraid to speak his own mind. He has even written a bizarrely named book, 555 Questions on Women, Money, Politics, Football.

In the book Arshavin speaks on anything and everything, from dreams about a world where he dreams of being a horse in a field, surrounded by guinea pigs to having to be pinned down by four medics as his dentist tried to pull out a tooth.

However, this all pales in comparison to his official website.

The site is the usual kind of thing you would expect from a sportsman. Profiles, history, plans etc. But hidden in the back of the site, Arshavin invites questions from people about anything, and I mean anything.

From answering questions on red shoelaces, to weather systems in Scotland, to curry, and football, the little genius has an answer for everything. Making his site one of the must see sites on the net for any fan.

Here is a sample of the kind of questions Arshavin gets asked...

1. From erlan95
Hello Andrey ...I am an Arsenal fan and I go to London very often as I’m a footballer from Kazakhstan! And I go to London as a team captain. I know your address in London! May I come to visit you and to take an autograph? I’ll bring presents .. There’ll be my coach ,my younger brother who plays for Brazil and I...?? I'm 19 years old .. Will you let in me?
Arshavin: My grandmother used to teach me that it’s bad manners to invite yourself to somebody’s house.


2. From ahjkaa
Andrey, what do you think about handball players?
Arshavin: Handball, handball ... In the past, I used to watch this game when Tuchkin and Torgavanov played...

3. From 27289282
Andrey, tell me, please, whether Alexander Anyukov is married and if he has any children? How are your Artyom and Yana?
Arshavin: My children are growing. Sasha Anyukov has no children.

4. From AssetKZ
Hello Andrey, I’ve been watching you in Arsenal and I’m very happy with your performance, Arsenal has changed for the better since you came, Fabregas, Arshavin, Nasri – I think, it’s the best attack line in Europe! Q: Don’t you think that defenders while taking part in the attack, go too far and don’t have enough time to return back to their positions when counter-attack? Is there any reason to use attacking defenders?
Arshavin: In modern football, the defenders are obliged to go forward.

5. From mail1206
Hello Andrey! You supported Nike and (RED) partner project, aimed at combating HIV / AIDS in Africa. In the video you took part in, you ate shoelaces for some reason! I want to know why you ate red shoelaces? You are not fed at home?
Arshavin: At home I’m fed only with blue ones.

6. From McRussian
Do you have an opportunity to travel a little in your spare time? There are a lot of great places in Britain especially in Scotland)). Come to Scotland (not just to score against Celtic Park), we’ll go north, in the mountains! Or we can go to have a look at the ocean!
Arshavin: Yes, I’ve heard a lot about it. But I'm afraid I won’t be able to come. A trip like this takes at least 3 days: two days for the road and one for sightseeing. The team has no more than 2 days off. Somehow I feel that we won’t go to Scotland even after my career is over.

7. From natalika
What number do you like to play under?
Arshavin: In Zenith it was 10. Here - 23.

8. From Kazakhstan
Hello, I would like to ask you a question. Was it difficult to learn to play football??)
Arshavin: I found it easy.

9. From still77
Are you friends with Pavlyuchenko family. Are you close with Zhirkov and Bilyaletdinov? Or you don’t communicate for some reasons?
Arshavin: I exchange text messages with Diniyar. We meet with Yura, but rarely, his schedule of games does not coincide with mine. In addition, Yura lives very far from us.

10. From Misora
Andrey, is it possible to meet you in London?
Arshavin: If I live here, then there is a chance.

11. From Vladislav770
Hello, Andrey! I’ve watched all the TV programs about you, about your life in England! I try to watch all Arsenal games! I have a question. Is it true that you get up every morning at 8: 00 to make a long jog in order to be in good shape? Aren’t you tired of it? And one more. Was it difficult to adapt to England? Thank you in advance!
Arshavin: I quit it for the time being.

12. From TOSTAO
Hi Andrey! My name is Artem, I’ve been playing football since I was 8 years old and I want to become a professional footballer, but I'm not tall, so I have to run fast! How fast did you run a 30 meter or a 60 meter distance when you were 15?
Arshavin: I don’t remember.

13. From sashax7xl
Hello Andrey, I’ve been playing football half a year now. All this time I played the field and now I begin to wonder maybe I should become a goalie. What would you recommend?
Arshavin: To think about it.

14. From PashaShiry
Have you ever been to Stavropol?
Arshavin: No

Bizarre, but great fun.

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Benzema Is Much Happier At Real Madrid Than Cristiano Ronaldo

For those of you who think Karim Benzema is unhappy warming his ass on the bench at Real Madrid, think again...

For reasons that now seem quite obvious, the French international is enjoying the kind of treatment that Cristiano Ronaldo can only dream about.

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Diego Maradona's Jewelry Seized by Italian Police as Palermo Play the Diamond Formation

DIEGO MARADONA'S reluctance to pay tax while he played for Napoli in Italy has come back to haunt him. Owing the Italian Revenue some £35million, the Italian government seized all of his jewelry on a recent visit to the country...

The jewels were then auctioned off to help pay towards an estimated €35m tax debt, but it seems Maradona will now be reunited with at least one of his prized possessions, a diamond earring after a mystery buyer bought the piece and gave it back to Diego, free of charge... step forward Palermo striker Fabrizio Miccoli.

Although it was an unknown woman who was at the auction to buy the earring for €25,000, Miccoli says she was acting on his behalf.

It is now believed that Miccoli intends to give the earring back to its rightful owner, although it didn't stop him wearing it during Palermo's 3-1 win over Lazio last Sunday...

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Burnley's Clarke Carlisle Almost Gets Aroused on Countdown

"That Rachel Riley, she's an attractive host," he says. "When I went on the programme I have to admit I got "aroused." Which I was quite pleased about as I'd not got a seven-letter word before."

This week Burnley's Clark Carlisle didn't manage to get aroused, but he did get smaller. And he got dossier and revels.

The smartest player in the Premiership even managed to beat the current Champion 89-55.

But it does beg the question.

If he is so smart, then why is he still with Burnley?

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Storm In a T-Shirt. "Anyone But England" T-Shirts Sell Out After Racism Row...

It would seem that the infamous "Anyone But England" T-shirts have caused a bit of a storm up in Scotland. Police were forced to investigate the shop selling them after receiving a complaint because someone felt the t-shirts were racist...

The shop's assistant manager, Jamie Wilkinson, was left stunned after the police visit, saying: "The tops are just harmless banter. They've got nothing to do with hating the English, it's just about winding them up - and it really seems to be working."

But the best quote came from Hamish Husband, from the Association of Tartan Army Clubs, who summed it up perfectly when he said: "It's not racism -- it's football."

To add further insult to English injury, the t-shirts have now sold out...

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The Question Nobody Asked. Is Harry Redknapp a Jinx? Every Club He Has Ever Managed Goes Into Administration

Harry Redknapp is one of the most likable managers in football, and like it or not, he is the top English manager in the game today. However, one stat links them all. At one stage or another they have all gone into administration. Bad news for Spurs?

As a manager, Redknapp is one of the few guys to have reached 1,000 games in the job. Over his vast management career, 27 years, he has managed five clubs.

Starting with Bournemouth in 1983-1992, to West Ham 1994-2001, to Portsmouth 2002-2004, before moving to arch rivals Southampton 2004-2005, and back to Pompey again 2005-2008, before finally ending up at his most profile club to date, Tottenham Hotspur 2008-present.

While his career may not be as littered with as many trophies as someone like Alex Ferguson, it does command respect as Redknapp was never in charge of a team who were realistic title contenders and had to make do with reduced budgets.

Now at Spurs, he is with a team who really do have the finances to challenge for trophies, but will 'Arry continue with his "wheeler-dealer" image? Or will he go for heavily priced players who are guaranteed to produce?

Either way, it is worth pointing out that Redknapp appears to be something of a jinx.

This won't make good reading for Spurs fans...

Bournemouth went into administration in 2008.

West Ham currently owe £100million and have asked every staff member, players included, to take a 25 percent pay cut from next season.

Portsmouth are as close to going into administration as you can get and are expected to receive their £20million relegation parachute payment early to pay off debts to the inland revenue.

And Southampton went into administration in 2009.

Of course, 'Arry was nowhere near any of these clubs when their financial bubbles burst, and he shares little blame as Chairmen spent way over their budgets, but he is the one concrete link between all the clubs.

So it begs the question...

Will Harry lead Spurs into the "Top Four", or administration...

Liverpool Tells Fans to Book Tickets Early for FA Cup Clash With Burnley

In a week where things have not gone well for Liverpool on the pitch, it appears that their off-pitch exploits are even worse. Yesterday the club sent out e-mails to all its season ticket holders to book their FA Cup fourth-round tickets early...

On Wednesday, fourth from bottom side in the Championship, Reading, knocked the once mighty club out after a 2-1 extra-time win at Anfield.

Twilight at Anfield: Is Alberto Aquilani a Vampire?

Alberto Aquilani is expected to make his first start of the season against Fiorentina on Wednesday. Pale with the dark features of a Carpathian prince, the Italian has yet to play a match for Liverpool during the day...

The Curse Of Gillette: After Tiger Woods and Thierry Henry, What's Next For Roger Federer?

Within the past two weeks, two of the three faces of Gillette have seen their characters revised after..."transgressions." Now we have to wonder, what is going to happen to Roger Federer? Because these things always happen in threes or trees in Tiger Woods' case.

So what has gone wrong? Has the world turned upside down all of a sudden? Before last week, Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry, and Roger Federer were three of the most respected sportsmen on the planet.

They stood for truth, justice, and the American way, or so Gillette would have you believe anyway....

Ars Bandeet and Other Funny Names From The Wonderful World of Football

Never heard of Ars Bandeet? How about Einar Aas? No? Well everyone's heard of Segar Bastard, haven't they? For every Diego and Pele, there has been an Ars or an Aas. Here are a couple of the greatest names ever to grace a football pitch...

Dragan Stoijkovic Scores The Greatest Goal of All Time...As a Manager!

The greatest goal the world has ever seen was scored this week by Grampus 8 manager Dragan Stoijkovic. In an amazing effort from his own technical area, he volleyed the ball into the net.

Grampus 8 Manager and Yugoslavian legend Dragan Stoijkovic is world renowned for his silken skills as a footballer. But if anything, those skills have improved...as a manager.

This week, Nagoya Grampus 8 were playing in a J-League match. The game in itself was nothing special...until Stojkovic popped up with a piece of skill that was unbelievable, even more so when you consider he is the manager.

With a player receiving attention in the penalty box, a Grampus player cleared the ball off the pitch into the technical area.

In seeing what the goalkeeper was attempting and with the game already stopped, Stojkovic read the direction of the ball beautifully and jogged off his bench to catch the ball on a full volley and hammer the ball into the net from fully 50 yards!

It is easily the greatest goal scored in the J-League this season, or any other season for that matter.

And the very fact that Stojkovic was dressed in a suit, wearing patent leather shoes, only makes it better!

Unfortunately, the 44-year-old was sent off for his indiscretion...leaving you to wonder if referees the world over are cloned from the same sense of humorless drone.

Despite that, Stojkovic is almost certain to win the goal of the season award, something he never won in his 20-year career. And he was some player.

To see the goal on YouTube, click here .

Everton Unveil Their New Away Jersey With a Haka For Liverpool

Everton have finally unveiled their new 2009/10 away jersey.


To huge fan-fare, the official Everton shop was taken over by a bunch of pink pin-striped Maori's who proceded to give their version of the Haka, which was aimed at city rivals Liverpool.

The Great Experiment. Determining The Most Popular EPL Team On The Net

In a scientific experiment that took weeks to compile, concerning the popularity of English Premiership teams on the Internet, I can now with 100 percent certainty announce which clubs are the most popular...

Manchester City's New Jersey Blunder: Sponsored by United!

Apparently Manchester City have released pictures of what next season's jersey is going to look like. It's the usual sky blue. A nice jersey. Nothing really stands out as being spectacular, until you get to the sponsor.