Village Football President Banned by the FFF after Audacious Bid For Lionel Messi

The President of a French village side has been suspended for six months by the French Football Federation after he launched an incredible bid to bring none other than Barcelona superstar Lionel Messi to his club!

Cedric Enjolras, otherwise known as President Buch, decided to make the audacious bid for the little Argentinean after a few drinks with friends one evening. The President, who describes himself as handsome as a god, mounted like a horse, as smart as Einstein and a hero like Messi, obviously thought that the FFF would see the funny side.

Unfortunately, they did not and promptly banned him for six months.

Tottenham Hotspur Beats AC MIlan to Qualify For Champions League Quarter Finals

Tottenham Hotspur are through to the Last Eight of the Champions League after drawing with AC Milan at White Hart Lane tonight. The Lilywhites, 1-0 up after beating the Rosseneri at the San Siro, held their austere counterparts to a 0-0 and are now just four games from a scarcely believable Wembley final.

Birmingham 2-1 Arsenal: Blues for Nervous Gunners as Pressure Takes Toll

Birmingham City beat Arsenal FC 2-1 in the Carling Cup Final to claim their first major trophy since 1963. Obafemi Martins scored the winning goal in the very last minute after a mix up of biblical proportions between Wojciech Szczesny and Lauren Koscielny left the on-loan Rubin Kazan striker with an open goal from just three yards out.

Birmingham had taken a deserved early lead through the towering Nikola Zigic after Szczesny misjudged the flight on a ball, allowing him to steer it home with his head. Robin van Persie, Arsenal's captain for the day, equalised with a stunning volley but the day ultimately belonged to Alex McLeish's Blues, who coped well with the pressure and were the better side on the day.

Where Have All The Midfielders Gone?

Where have all the midfielders gone? It might sound like a mad question but given the state of the modern game it is one of the most pertinent.

Last night Manchester United and Marseille met in the Last 16 of the UEFA Champions League. Truly, it was one of the worst games the Champions League has ever produced. Neither side managed a clear cut chance on goal all night. Stifling tactics cannot be blamed; rather the enemy on the night was poor players and specifically poor midfielders...

How True Grit Explains The English Premier League

Something occurred to me while I was watching 'True Grit' the other day. It is a brilliantly acted and directed film that rarely puts a foot out of place while telling it's tale of retribution and relentless characters. However, one thing also stood out, the story is also a metaphor for the English Premier League...

Wayne Rooney Wonder Goal Earns Win For Manchester United Over City In Derby

Wayne Rooney ended Manchester City's slim title hopes at Old Trafford today as Manchester United won 2-1 to move within touching distance of the Premiership trophy. The England striker scored an amazing overhead kick that must be considered one of the greatest goals of the season, or any other season for that matter, as United gained the result their ambitious play deserved.

Roy Hodgson Takes Over at West Brom in the Hope of Getting England Call

Ex-Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson has taken over from Roberto Di Matteo as manager of West Bromwich Albion after the Italian was sacked following a disastrous run of results that saw the Baggies lose 13 of their last 18 games. It will be the 63-year-old's 21st management job in a football career that has spanned 46 years.

The move back into the dugout for has come much quicker than anyone expected, including Hodgson. From being unceremoniously sacked by Liverpool after just six months it was assumed by the watching football world that the well liked manager would take a well deserved break from the game.

However, it would seem that his desire to succeed Fabio Capello as England manager next summer after the Euro 2012 finals would be the main catalyst to a quick return to the game.

Fernando Torres Signing For Chelsea Will Get Carlo Ancelotti The Sack

Chelsea FC pulled off one of the biggest transfers of all time recently, when they took Fernando Torres from Liverpool for £50 million. The move was seen by many as Roman Abramovich flexing his financial might to not only get the Pensioners back in the title race, but also as a way of bringing the Champions League to Stamford Bridge.

However, while that may have been the Russian Oligarch's main aim, what he has achieved is a further erosion of the fragile foundation under Carlo Ancelotti's feet.

As the league table stands, Chelsea has 44 points and is a full 10 points behind the leaders, Manchester United, with just 13 games to go. Considering that the Red Devils have only lost one game from the previous 25, it looks highly unlikely that Alex Ferguson would allow his team to lose four games from their remaining fixtures to leave the Blues with a chance at retaining their title.

This, of course, means that Chelsea's only real aim for the rest of the season is the trophy that Roman Abramovich craves so much...the Champions League.

Last season, as Chelsea was eliminated from the Champions League by Jose Mourinho and Inter Milan, an incandescent Roman Abramovich issued an ultimatum to Carlo Ancelotti:

Win the league, or else.

At the time, a Chelsea insider told ESPN "[Ancelotti's future] now depends on the league. He will need to win the league to survive."

So, it is not beyond the realms of imagination to think that the Chelsea owner has issued a similar demand about the Champions League this time around.

The insider also told Soccernet that Abramovich wanted to bring Fernando Torres to the club next season, despite other areas of the team needing renewal.

"Of course Roman wants Torres, but he will not pay even £50 million for him, and Liverpool will be asking more than that."

“If the situation stays the same at Liverpool, then they will have to consider selling Torres, but you will not be able to get him for £50 million.

"How much? No one knows yet, as Liverpool has yet to decide to sell him."

Just last week, Roman Abramovich fulfilled one of his footballing ambitions when he bought the services of Fernando Torres for the £50 million mentioned last March.

With that, there are a number of things to be taken from the purchase of the Spanish striker.

The foremost is Torres was an Abramovich signing, and Carlo Ancelotti was not consulted on the addition of another striker. With that in mind, you can see how Abramovich sees himself as the manager of the club and that Ancelotti is little more than a coach with no say in the matter.

If Ancelotti had been consulted, then he would surely have looked at bringing some much needed creativity into midfield. This is an area where Chelsea are weakest, as the defeat to Liverpool showed.

The Reds used an unconventional 3-6-1 or 5-3-1-1, depending upon your point of view, to stifle Chelsea’s powerhouse midfield. With the Blues' lack of creativity, Kenny Dalglish’s side basically strangled the life out of the defending champions.

The Liverpool defeat, albeit with Torres on the team, demonstrated all the main reasons Chelsea’s season has come undone and why they will probably finish the season trophy-less.

They are an incredibly cohesive unit and every move has the look of a well-worked training-ground set piece. If those do not work, they lack a creative player in the midfield who can find teammates in dangerous areas of the pitch.

While the Pensioners midfield is their greatest asset, it is also a liability against teams that are well organised and who, most importantly, pack midfield.

It speaks volumes that Liverpool’s caretaker manager chose to take Chelsea on where they are physically strongest, because he was full in the knowledge that once that area of the pitch was won, Chelsea had no other routes to victory.

In essence, the supply lines to Didier Drogba and Torres were cut off completely.

Even if Carlo Ancelotti had acted more quickly to bring on Malouda and Kalou, the game was up, as both of those players are wide forwards rather than wide midfielders. Thus, the personnel up front would make no difference to the outcome of the game, as midfield was where the game needed to be changed.

This immediately points to the two areas Ancelotti would have strengthened before even looking at bringing in another centre forward, particularly one with such a poor track record at finding a partner.

Chelsea needs a creative central midfielder and a wide midfielder.

The defeat to Liverpool effectively ended Chelsea’s slim title hopes, and now Carlo Ancelotti’s job is dependent upon winning the Champions League.

The Italian can rightly feel aggrieved with Abramovich. Even though he has done a superb job since joining the club from AC Milan, winning the double in his first year, that hasn’t stopped Abramovich from seemingly undermining his head coach at every opportunity.

The first example was last March when he told Ancelotti he would be sacked if he did not deliver the league title. This effectively sent the message out to the players that, with anything less than a 100 percent success rate, they would have a new boss. Every player worth his salt knows that this demand is impossible over the fullness of time.

The next step was the disgraceful sacking of Ray Wilkins.

Regardless of what Wilkins’ role was at the club and whether Abramovich thought he was needed or not, Wilkins was Ancelotti’s man. By unceremoniously sacking him in the manner that he did, Abramovich sent another two messages out to the team:

1. Roman Abramovich is the main man at Chelsea, not Carlo Ancelotti.
2. Ancelotti is in an uncertain position and is not important enough to consult on the team’s direction, never mind the club’s direction.

Shortly after Wilkins’ removal, Ancelotti was inflicted with Michael Emanalo, a coach with very little experience of football at the highest level.

His installation as Ancelotti’s right-hand man is seen with distrust by all involved in the first-team set-up. Emanalo is thought of as little more than a spy for Roman Abramovich, and Ancelotti has done his best to distance himself from the new appointee.

This also means Ancelotti is now completely alone at Stamford Bridge, with no one to turn to for advice or to brainstorm with.

It is in this atmosphere that Carlo Ancelotti approached the League Managers Association in late November, to seek advice on his standing and employment rights at Chelsea.

He spoke on the matter and offered a frank opinion on where he stands at the club and how his role is completely different than the one enjoyed by Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United.

He said, "You compare me with Ferguson, it's a different position. Ferguson has total control of the team. I have just technical direction. Full-stop.”

This was a clear indication that Ancelotti has no say or power at the club and that every signing is chosen for him, regardless of how he feels about the matter.

Now, the latest step in the constant disruption of Carlo Ancelotti has seen Roman Abramovich buy Fernando Torres.

There can be little doubt that the Chelsea manager would not have chosen Fernando Torres as a player to bring in.

The ex-Liverpool striker has a fearsome reputation in front of goal, but his link-up play outside the box is average and his past history has shown that he is a striker who plays best by himself, in a counter-attacking team where he can come onto the ball rather than playing with his back to goal.

If anything, Ancelotti would have tried to buy Andy Carroll, as the ex-Newcastle No. 9 is as close a player to a young Didier Drogba as you’re going to find.

He would have fit in at Chelsea seamlessly.

It is clear for all to see that Carlo Ancelotti is living on borrowed time at Chelsea. The ironic twist in all of this is that the newest catalyst of erosion, Torres, is also the only man who can save his job.

Given Chelsea’s and Torres’ form over the last couple of months, it seems highly unlikely that things will click in time to win Ancelotti and Abramovich the Champions League.

First up is FC Copenhagen in two weeks time. The Danish club are seen by many as the weakest team in the Last 16, but the short time frame leaves Ancelotti struggling for answers.

The likeliest result is that Chelsea will beat FC Copenhagen, with or without Fernando Torres. However, the real test of the new partnership with Drogba and Anelka is likely to happen in April in the quarterfinal, just eight games away.

To go any further, the Blues will be hoping for another good draw. But, considering that the waiting teams are likely to include Barcelona, Real Madrid and Manchester United, amongst others, their chances won’t be good.

Looking at their current form and the type of player that Torres is, it is very hard to see that particular partnership working, and it looks increasingly likely that Chelsea will not win the Champions League this year.
Should that happen, Roman Abramovich is almost certain to send Carlo Ancelotti back to Italy, with AS Roma as his likeliest destination.

The irony for Carlo Ancelotti is that the last signing by Roman Abramovich, Fernando Torres, said, “If you don’t play in the Champions League, it is as if you don’t exist.”

He’ll find that, as far as Abramovich is concerned, that quote is very true indeed.

Luis Suarez to Liverpool Could be the First Step in Fernando Torres Leaving

Liverpool FC is closing in on the signature of the Ajax centre forward Luis Suarez. However, the signing immediately begs two questions:

1) Why sign Suarez when the rest of team needs undoubted strengthening? And maybe more importantly,

2) Does Suarez coming in speed up the departure of Fernando Torres?

There is little doubt that this campaign has been one of the worst Liverpool fans or players have ever had to endure.

Roy Hodgson was brought into the club last July by Christian Purslow and was immediately hailed as the man to steady the sinking ship, but the truth worked out far differently than either man could imagine.

His steady approach, after the scattershot transfer dealings of Rafael Benitez, was seen as the way to get the club back on track, as Martin Broughton sought a new owner, and although a top four finish was the very most Liverpool fans expected, a season of improvement on and off the pitch was the very least Hodgson had to produce.

Instead, Hodgson's campaign stuttered from the start and after just 31 games in charge of the Reds, as Liverpool slipped towards the relegation zone, with a record reading W-13 D-9 L-9 the likable manager found himself heading towards the growing dole queues in Croydon.

The ex-Reds boss' biggest mistake at Anfield was in alienating the Liverpool fan base and The Kop in particular. He had umpteen chances to stake his claim with the Anfield faithful but he bungled every single one.

From refusing to take Fabio Capello up with playing Steven Gerrard for 90 minutes when the Liverpool captain should have only played for 45 minutes while on England duty (Manchester United’s and Chelsea’s players only played for 45) to taking a diplomatic stance when Sir Alex Ferguson accused Fernando Torres of trying to get John O'Shea sent off, Hodgson just did not know how to act as a manager of a big club.

There is an old saying in the workplace. A man may have been working for 35 years but if he has done the same thing every year, then he doesn’t have 35 years worth of experience he just has one.
This would seem to be the case with Hodgson at Liverpool. He just seemed out of his depth and did not know what to do from day one.

After looking for the job last summer when he did not like any of the managers he was profiling, including Hodgson, Kenny Dalglish has been given the job to right the good ship Liverpool.

In just three games there has been enough improvement in the team to suggest that, instead of fighting it out in the lower reaches of the league, Liverpool could indeed mount a challenge to finish in the European spots.

The Scot has a tough task ahead, because there can be little doubt that the current squad needs improving.
There are glaring holes all over the first team squad. Quite simply there are far too many players not of Liverpool quality currently residing in red shirts and it says much that, for a long time, the two best players under Roy Hodgson were probably Sotirios Krygiakos and Lucas Leivia.

The ex-Fulham boss did not enamour himself to Liverpool fans with his summer signings or tactics but it must be said that the new additions were just like adding water to an already burning oil fire.

Now as we pass the halfway point of the season, NESV look set to prove to Liverpool fans that they mean business and that LFC is still a big club.

To send this message out to the fans, Damien Comolli has contacted Ajax about the availability of Luis Suarez.

Currently the negotiations between the two clubs are about £8 million apart, with Liverpool valuing the striker at around £15 million while Ajax want an estimated £23 million for the 23-year-old.

Suarez is one of the most sought-after players in world football at the moment. Barcelona and Manchester United both sent scouts to assess him last season when he bagged 49 goals in 48 games.

His overall record at Ajax is impressive. Over the last four years, he has never failed to score fewer than 20 goals a season, and his current record reads as having played 154 games with 110 goals.

Rumour of his impending transfer from Ajax went into overdrive two weeks ago when Ajax announced that Suarez was being removed as captain of the club and from there he has been linked with various clubs like Bayern Munich, Tottenham Hotspur, and Liverpool.

While there is no doubting his class or his potential, one must have to question the reasoning behind signing such a player for so much money, especially as the rest of the squad needs strengthening.

Stephen Warnock and Charlie Adam have both been linked with the club in recent days and would be welcome additions to the changing room, but that still leaves the glaring holes at centre half, central midfield, and out wide.

Of course, Liverpool definitely needs to sign a centre forward. Neglecting to bring in a player who could replace Fernando Torres was one of the prime reasons for both Rafael Benitez and Roy Hodgson getting sacked, but it seems madness to sign a player of £20 million type calibre unless he is going to play all the time.
The main problem there is that both Fernando Torres and Luis Suarez operate primarily as lone strikers for their respective teams.

Torres has been at Liverpool since 2007 and has never played with a real partner, unless you count Steven Gerrard playing just behind him.

Rafael Benitez is one of the most astute tactical managers in the game and even he failed to find a strike partner for the Liverpool No. 9.

Gerrard's best position is as the supporting midfielder, so if Suarez does come in, then Liverpool will gain in one area but lose in the other. Gerrard would revert to a traditional central midfielder when he simply does not know how to dictate a game from deep.

The other option for Liverpool on Suarez is to utilise him with Torres in the same way that Peter Beardsley complemented John Aldridge in Dalglish's first stint at Liverpool in the late '80s.

The problems with that particular tactic are that Torres' link up play is not up to the same class as his finishing and that he is a player who plays his best football when facing the goal rather than away from it.

It is also worth noting that John Aldridge was sold by Dalglish while he was still at his peak...

No, the Suarez signing only makes sense, to me anyway, on two levels.

1) He is a big-money signing that will get the fans back on board and,

2) His signing is the first part in Torres' future transfer.

The latter statement makes particular sense when you realise that Pere Guardiola is Pep Guardiola's brother as well as being Luis Suarez's agent.

It is no secret that Barcelona have indicated that they want to bring Torres and Fabregas back to Spain next season and Suarez's signing follows NESV's ideal by bringing in a player with vast potential while selling another at what could be his peak value.

If Suarez does indeed come in, he would be too valuable to leave on the bench so it would look as if Dalglish will be employing a 4-4-2 type system for the rest of the season with Steven Gerrard and possibly Charlie Adam as his two main central midfielders.

The problem with that set up is that it leaves the two centre halves exposed.

One would have to assume that since Martin Kelly is commanding the right full berth that Dalglish will stick with the youngster out there instead of the haphazard Glen Johnson, with Stephen Warnock coming in at left full.

That would leave Liverpool with a very one-paced back line and with a team whose tactical approach would be very direct, an accusation that the Kop levelled at Roy Hodgson with some venom on more than one occasion.

Is Suarez the right signing at the right time? Because it might even end up causing more questions than answers.

Premier League Producers?

In 1968 Mel Brooks penned the now classic screenplay for The Producers. The satirical comedy tells the tale of two men who come together to make a Broadway flop so that they can close the show and run off with all the investors money. In other words, they want their project to fail.

Kind of makes you think of football managers in a weird sort of way.

Why? Well, when you get right down to it, the vast majority of football manager’s careers are built upon failure and getting sacked, and as a result getting compensated...

Over the last few years managerial sackings have hit an all time high or low depending upon your point of view. Last season, statistics from the League Managers Association proclaimed that the average football manager in England lasted just a season and a half or 511 days if you prefer. The average managerial role lasted for three and a half years back when the Premier League started in 1992.

While most eyes focus on all things Premier League, in actual fact the most pressurised division to manage a club in was League Two where the average master of the technical area last around 11 months.

The 2009/10 figures were the lowest of all time.

LMA chief executive Richard Bevan said: "It is disappointing to see another season with such significantly high numbers of manager dismissals across the four leagues.

"Sacking a manager creates instability and uncertainty and this season’s high number of dismissals reinforces how volatile an industry football is, especially for managers.  

"More worrying, is that the average tenure of those managers that were dismissed this season has reached an all-time low by comparison with other years. 

"In simple terms, managers are being given less and less time to deliver. This goes against both the theory and the reality - clubs who give their managers time are more stable and more successful."

The old chestnut that Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger are the best managers in the game because they are the longest serving is usually brought up at this time.

But you have to ask the real question: Are they good managers because they were given time or were they given time because they are good managers?

Invariably the truth lies with the latter statement. Wenger and Ferguson are the longest serving managers in the Premier League because they are the best managers in the Premier League.

With those two gentlemen firmly ensconced in two of the top jobs in the game and are challenging for trophies every season, it leaves the rest just fighting to exist really.

This is where failure comes into it.

Most managers have no hope or chance of ever making serious money from trophy success in the game so failing at a club is the best route to financial reward.

In the movie, Max Bialystock encounters accountant Leo Bloom after another one of his plays flops. Bloom is urged to use some "creative accounting", the first use of the phrase in the modern language, and while doing so has a revelation. If they can produce a flop of a play and sell more shares than they need and the play fails on opening night they will walk away with all the investment as the insurance company will right it all off.

Eventually their best laid plans run a ground  when, against all the odds, their musical "Springtime for Hitler" becomes a smash hit.

If you take a modern look at the film from a strange angle through some dirty glass and use football in its place you can see some similarities.

In The Producers places we have agents and instead of a play we have football teams. The vast majority agents and their clients have no real chance of winning trophies and they both do better out of the deal if the manager is actually sacked.

When that happens the agent just advertises his client with the help of the LMA for the nest open position.
Just think about the EPL for a moment, whenever a job comes up the same names are always mentioned. Are these guys the only managers in the game? Or are they the ones with the best agents?

Liverpool have spent around £10 million compensating managers Roy Hodgson and Rafael Benitez over the last eight months with Benitez earning more compensation after he was unceremoniously sacked by Inter Milan last month.

Given that managers know that they may be sacked at a moments notice is it any wonder that they should look for serious compensation when they leave their post?

With Hodgson’s job on the line at Liverpool, Richard Bevan released yet another statement on the matter where he said that clubs were “scapegoating” his members.

League Managers Association chief executive Richard Bevan has urged clubs to stop "scapegoating" their managers.

And he suggested it might time for managers to undergo formal appraisals.

Bevan wrote: "In these, the strengths and weaknesses of how the football-side of the club is performing might be assessed against realistic expectations and previously, mutually agreed goals. 

"In any other sector, there is a recognition that the highest performing organizations are those who build winning organizational culture - shared beliefs, goals and ways of behaving - coupled with a long-term vision. 

"Yet, in football, there is an incomprehensible belief that the continued sacrificing of the football manager, the 'scapegoat' and installing another will turn around a football club's performance."

Under Bevan the LMA has become one of the most powerful organisations in the game. The usually release statements before or after every major sacking and it is somewhat ironic that as the association has become more powerful in fighting for managers rights that the life expectancy of managers have dropped.

Cynical people might almost think that managers are represented by the same agents and that the whole merry-go-round is all part of a bigger game that goes on unseen.

For those of you who are interested in this sort of thing, The Producers was made in 1968 and the last time England’s top flight had a season where no manager was sacked was in 1967.